life

Can you play golf this week?

Posted on by kaynegrau

Late last year, I made a call to a good friend and asked what I thought was a very simple and easy question: “Can you go to Pebble Beach in a few days?” I knew my friend’s passion for golf, and received a “Yes” in a short period of time. It was quite nice with no big planning process or elaborate itinerary. We just made the decision to go.

Within those few days, we had the hotel booked, the plane tickets purchased, and four tee times established across SpyGlass, Spanish Bay, Pebble Beach, and The Preserve (offsite). I remember arriving on our first day and teeing off at SpyGlass in complete awe. I wasn’t sure how any other day or round could possibly be better. Well, the days certainly got better, and we had three total days of bliss. Standing on those cliffs with the Pacific stretching out forever, it’s hard not to feel a little small in the best possible way. Carmel, California has a way of reminding you that some places live up to every bit of the hype.

I felt very fortunate and appreciative that week in not only being able to play these world-class courses, but also to connect with my friend. From the drive up the coast, through the rounds of golf, and dinner/drinks after hours, we talked about life, our families, our businesses, the wins, the frustrations, and the things we’re trying to figure out next. We even had the time to make an incredible joint Spotify playlist that I listen to weekly. In the end, I recognized after getting home from this trip that these types of relationships and having real, non-surface-level conversations are important. They aren’t happening between rushed meetings, trying to get home after work, or between calendar invites.

It happens between two friends, in an amazing part of the world, with uninterrupted time for real conversations.

AND….. Somewhere during the second day, it hit both of us…..

We didn’t want the trip to end. Not because of the golf. Not because of the views.

But because it reminded us of something simple that’s easy to forget when life gets busy.

Sometimes the best moments aren’t the ones you plan for months. They’re the ones you decide to say yes to on a whim.

I leave you with this quote that I heard a little while ago. “I don’t have a favorite place. I have my favorite people. And whenever I’m with my favorite people, that place becomes my favorite.”

How to Fix Your Entire Life in ONE DAY…

Posted on by kaynegrau



How is your “New Years resolution” going? We are almost at the end of first quarter, 2026.

I am not one to post my NYR on any platform because (a) I decided a while back that I wouldn’t commit to a specific resolution and (b) I don’t think social media is always the appropriate platform/place to say what you want to accomplish, change, remove for the coming year.

All that said, I read a thought provoking article published by Dan Koe over the holiday break. This was titled “How to fix your entire life in one day.” That title alone had me curious and also pessimistic that I would gain any real value from spending the 10-15 minutes reading his blog entry.

Well – I was wrong.. This hits so many key points inside and outside of making New Year’s resolutions. His focus on deep life change, breaking unconscious patterns, and how to redirect identity toward a new trajectory with your life had me thinking of the past year and new changes for this year. There are dozens of other great ideas, including setting up your day for reflection. Something I don’t take advantage of today.

In the most simplistic terms “our resolution failures are because we didn’t commit to the new dignity and we are optimized and happy with where we are today.”’

Other summarized thoughts:

– You must become the person who naturally lives the life you want.

– Real change requires changing the goal lens through which reality is perceived.

– You are not afraid of failure — you are afraid of becoming someone your current identity cannot survive.

– Its core message:

• You don’t need more discipline
• You need a new identity lens
• You don’t lack clarity — you avoid the truth
• Change happens fast once internal resistance collapses


I hope you enjoy and give this a read.

https://letters.thedankoe.com/p/how-to-fix-your-entire-life-in-1

Stop Chasing “Set for Life”

Posted on by kaynegrau

Have you ever said to yourself, “If I can do this, get this, have this – I will be set for life?” I have. Many times, over the past 30 years.

When I took some time off in 2024, I did some reflecting on the chasing of that feeling and why I was hellbent on trying to be “set for life.” The decisions I made, the jobs that I evaluated or the dreams I wanted to fulfill.  I saw this pattern and wanted to learn from it. I worked with a coach, and after a few sessions and analyzing various examples, the lightbulb went off. It was a simple idea, almost annoyingly obvious once you hear it out loud: there’s no such thing as being “set for life.”

Most of us grow up believing this mythical moment exists—a number in the bank, a title, a business sale, a finish line we think will deliver permanent ease or certainty. We imagine that once we reach it, we’ll exhale for the rest of our lives. No stress, no questions, no doubts.

But that moment isn’t real, and more importantly, the pursuit of this carries a cost.

The key takeaways after my coaching sessions could be summarized with “When people say they want to be set for life, they’re not chasing a reality—they’re chasing a feeling.” It’s the imagined feeling of safety, love, validation, or completion. The idea that one day we can say, “I made it,” and everything after that will be easy.

Here’s the problem: because the target is a feeling, not a fact, it moves.
Every time you get close, it shifts.
Every win is discounted because it isn’t the win.
Every milestone is dismissed because it isn’t that milestone.

While we search for being “set for life,” and that big bang validation, we missed out on the real tangible validations that were sitting right in front of us. The wins we earned, the progress we made, the risks and challenges we survived, the people we helped, and the complex problems we solved. The worst of all – we overlooked the proof that we were already building something meaningful.

Now for the fun part …


Assuming you were the fortunate one to achieve that large goal – the money, title, business sale, whatever your version is—you likely felt underwhelmed and probably reset for the next big “set for life” milestone.  Because the moment you reached that mythical goal, it didn’t come with the fireworks you imagined. It didn’t fix everything. Life still has challenges and is not frictionless, and in the end, we start asking ourselves, “Was it really about the milestone?” I believe it’s about the feeling we hoped we would feel upon reaching the “set for life” milestone.

All that said, I am still focused on short-term and long-term personal and professional goals. I am still driven by the idea of building success with the company I recently acquired. I still dream about what retirement could look like in the next chapter of life. However, it’s not tied to a set dollar amount, a timeframe for an exit strategy, or a set date in the future to stop working. As my wife says from time to time, “Let the universe do its thing,” which I fully subscribe to now. I am more in touch with what is happening today, and I have a greater appreciation for what is happening around me, my family, friends, and colleagues. I am no longer waiting for some final moment to feel complete.

To summarize,  being “set for life” isn’t a finish line—it’s a mindset.

We become “set for life” by realizing we’re already living it, one earned win at a time.